#2 Reflections | The Role of Self-Compassion in Overcoming Setbacks

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about self-compassion, a concept that has been explored by many psychologists over the years. Among them, Kristin Neff has made significant contributions to our understanding of it, particularly in how it relates to resilience. Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This idea really resonated with me, and I’ve found it has a quiet power that can change how we deal with setbacks.

Research shows that self-compassion is closely tied to resilience. People who practice it seem to bounce back from failures more quickly and are less prone to anxiety or depression. Instead of getting stuck in self-criticism, they acknowledge their difficulties with care. This shift in perspective doesn’t erase the challenges, but it seems to soften the edges.

When I face setbacks, I notice my first instinct is often to be tough on myself, thinking that it might push me to do better next time. But what I’ve learned, and what the data supports, is that this approach can backfire. Harsh self-judgment can lead to feelings of inadequacy, making it harder to move forward.

On the other hand, self-compassion seems to help maintain a sense of balance. It allows us to see setbacks as a natural part of life, not a measure of our worth. By treating ourselves with kindness, we create a space where growth feels more possible. It’s not about excusing mistakes or avoiding responsibility, but rather about facing challenges with a mindset that encourages learning instead of self-punishment.

So, next time you or I encounter a setback, maybe it’s worth trying a moment of self-compassion. Just acknowledging how we’re feeling, recognizing that it’s okay to struggle, and gently reminding ourselves that setbacks are part of the journey. This simple practice has started to shift my perspective, and I thought it might resonate with you too.